Kids, Pots, Powders and Sticks

i'm not proud to say this, but as we're growing right now i am so culturally influenced by the most taboo yet air-polutting human activity on earth- smoking.

okay guys i didn't do it.

yet. 

well me and 2 friends of mine had been chatting up this topic in secret. and thankfully so is this blog- since saving up a word document on my laptop is not a 'safety' because people can read it and buying a diary is 'wasteful' because wherever i hide it i know my sister / family / whoever can find it. 


we've been planning to hit up the more flavorful  arabic ( sadly more cancer possible) smoke hose cousin of the stick , aka mr. S for shisha.


i just thought cigars were ick. cigarettes are just obvious but this we can do it together and private.


well i thought. since this blog is a record of my journey of teenage days i decide to keep it only here.


and to add another thought so this post isn't only speaking of what is probably going to happen:


how do you make a stalker go away? my friends told me the currently i-chose-not-to-say-his-name douchebag (who's annoying to everyone) said he's going to be that way ( being annoying to everyone) until he gets me. EH MA EW.


wait i know a good response i will write ' we FTW, on!' on paper then i will say to the douchebag to read the word backwards. it will read:


                                      no, WTF ew. 




i. am. a . genius.

The Future.

i am so ashamed to say this, but i honestly still have no fucking idea what my future will be like. i mean i know some people had it all planned out- they know what path to take, what college and what they're majoring in, future jobs, etc. I DON'T KNOW, and i'm so pissed and scared at the same time because i'm scared this uncertainty will lead me to nowhere.

i mean i know i'm brilliant ( at the moment) in sociology. but i really wanna work in fashion. how does that even match? and my arts department in school suck = cannot go to design. and i had zero interest in economy pathway = cannot go to merchandising. and i suck at physics = cannot go to technical. AARGGGHHH.

and well, i know sociology is good and all but what job could i get? sociologist, i don't want that. boring.

second, college. i'd die to go to US for some reason. it looks like US is such an opportunist country, and fashion has many branches there. And i mean hellooo FIT? So FUN. 

although singapore is good as a second choice. NAFA looks awesome and it's closer to home and it's asian-y ( duh, we're in the same continent as if my country isn't asian-y).

p.s: in the course of marriage and love i give exception. i let God plan that, but if i may choose i'd like to be married in late twenties hopefully. 

sigh sigh sigh.

i hope God has better things planned for me.